Do we accept happiness and joy in the same way we’ve accepted pain and trauma?

Now that’s a tricky question.

I know the experience all too well that when you get used to your abuse, it becomes a normal part of your day just the same as waking up and making breakfast. Even if you feel uncomfortable or angry for some reason, you don’t change the situation, you pray that it passes you by, just like it has done the previous days.

Do we have the same feeling when it comes to happiness?

I think not. When all you’ve ever experienced is trauma and pain, you don’t feel that happiness is normal. You question what happiness means and feels to you. Some may even reject the idea of being happy as it’s more comfortable being used to the abuse than something that brings out a new unfamiliar emotion in you. It feels too good to be true.

When dealing with Narcissistic abuse you are forever questioning the motives of those around you, having little faith that even if you do have a happy day it will soon change back to a bad one. I want to change this narrative. I want to reach you from a spiritual mind to say that as living souls we should be able to receive an emotion, feel it, and then let it pass us by so we can experience another emotion. This has been one of the pillars of my healing process, as instead of feeling stuck in my trauma I can hope for a better tomorrow. I am now so open to the Universe with anything it wants to throw at me, as I know that my soul is a never-ending evolution of emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and I shouldn’t be afraid to show these.

In my abuse, I was frozen and stuck as all I kept hoping for was for someone to change the narrative for me, but I am in control as long as I accept my situation. I think deep down inside I was not accepting that my Mum was a raging narcissist and that I’d never get that protection, or support for my Dad, and so I kept searching. I didn’t realise that if I had just radically accepted the truth of who they were (and still are), then I could allow myself to feel all these emotions and then, with a clearer mind, make the decision to positively move forward.

Feeling is not a weakness…

It’s a strength.

Sonam x

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My Instagram Handle: @sonam.story

My email: sonam.story@gmail.com