Self-compassion is the bedrock of any meaningful transformation. When we are kind to ourselves, we create a safe inner environment where change can happen.

The difficult task of having self-compassion was difficult for me too and at times still is. I have found a few tools to help me develop self-compassion which remarkably turns into compassion for others and creates a more friendly life experience.

Replacing Criticism with Kindness

One tool is to step back from the response or feeling of “not being good enough”.

When you hear that inner critic show up saying “See here we go again!” or “I knew no one would care.” Stop, breathe and step back, what actually happened? Are they responding to you or their own problems, or shortcomings? Leave it on them. You can respond with dismissiveness or simply walk away but you must realize it is not about you. Then take a moment to see yourself being the person you know you are. Worthy of love and kindness and take that feeling with you as you continue your day.

Often, we’re harder on ourselves than anyone else. But treating ourselves with compassion doesn’t make us weak — it actually strengthens us. We learn to approach our challenges with patience and care, giving ourselves the grace to grow at our own pace.

Another tool is to value and validate yourself (so no one else needs to).

When you do this you know that what others say and do is powerless to change your emotional state (knock you down) because you have already given yourself permission to be the fabulous person you have always been.

Actionable Step: Practice self-compassion this week by saying something kind to yourself during a difficult moment. It could be as simple as, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”

Until next week,

Debbra Blosnich.