We are all born into one family system, one set of parents and potentially siblings. These are usually the immediate family, but some people have more family members, and some people have less.

But what does it mean to have ‘family’? Everyone’s idea of family looks, feels, and sounds different.

I want to talk about the subject of ‘chosen families’. This isn’t glamourised or spoken about enough in the world, I believe.

A chosen family is a family that you create—like a flower bouquet, you individually pick out who you want in your chosen family, and 9 times out of 10, you will have a solid reason as to why they belong there.

There is earned respect, loyalty, and support from a chosen family because, guess what—they’ve chosen to be there, present in your life, and you return the favour.

There is no blind loyalty, fear of upsetting anyone, or enmeshment with a chosen family.

This is what I love about the concept of chosen families—because they can come from any background, be of any gender, any age, and yet they all fit together like pieces to a puzzle.

You can even have many different sets of chosen families if you want, or you can join them all together.

No one feels entitled, or is to be put on a pedestal. You all have a mutual understanding that you want to be in each other's lives and can also sympathise with one’s pain, as many people who have a chosen family over, well... family, have had to walk away from their biological family.

These members of your chosen family will celebrate your wins, comfort you in your losses, and want to actively see you happy, whilst living their own lives entirely.

There doesn’t need to be any forced crossover or expectations with your chosen family.

People can come and go from a chosen family, and no one will feel abandoned.

As my relationships have blossomed with new people in my life, I can start seeing them be part of my chosen family, and that brings a smile to my face.

Everyone should feel like they belong somewhere.

Blood is not always thicker than water.

Sometimes, the people who are like water can be an ocean and will not let you drown because they teach you how to stay afloat.

But the heaviness of a pool of blood will surely have your head under.

Sonam x

———

My TikTok Handle: Sonam’s_story

My Instagram Handle: @sonam.story

My email: sonam.story@gmail.com