There is an urban myth that people who are abused become abusers.

One friend recently suggested that when she asked her father why he had abused her, he said it was because he himself had experienced abuse as his 'excuse'. But people are different. Some people make the choice to become an abuser, and some choose to reach out to others and are involved in their healing. Believe me. It's a beautiful thing to see a woman, man or trans person who has experienced sexual violence become a wounded healer. They get it. They understand what the person has gone through and they know how to stand with them and encourage them. They may initially not be ready. That's fine. Be prepared for if and when they are.

Do you know someone and because of your own history you have a sense that they have experienced a deep trauma?

Dare to reach out to them. Tell them you are concerned about them, that they may have something that is hard for them to handle and that when they are ready you are there to listen to them.

Consider where you might signpost them to appropriate services in advance, social, health and/ or legal services.

Be a good friend.

Glenn Miles.

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Email: drglennmiles@gmail.com

Resources: 1in6.org / gmmiles.co.uk