Are you suppressing your emotions or truly feeling them?

Many times, as we grow up with trauma, we learn to suppress our feelings to stay safe. It becomes almost instinctual to stop expressing our true emotions. We often do this because our abuser tells us to keep the secret—and we comply out of fear. We fear them and what might happen to us if we speak out.

These people hold authority over us and misuse their power—or rather, their control—to protect themselves. As children, we didn’t know any other truth. We accepted their tactics as reality. We kept secrets, felt fear, shame, and, in the process, lost our sense of worth and self-esteem.

Practical Steps: Now What?

Now, it’s time to reclaim that power by feeling our emotions and letting them guide us. Our emotions serve us—as warnings or simply as signals. Our responsibility is to feel them and determine whether they are valid in the present moment.

Understanding emotions is a lifelong journey, but for the sake of this discussion, let’s simplify it. Emotions are our response to situations based on past experiences with similar events. We assign meaning to these experiences, and we reclaim our power when we question whether that meaning is true or not.

In other words: Do I need to protect myself, or am I actually okay?

Using emotions as messengers means accepting that we feel them—whether it’s happiness, sadness, anger, or disappointment. Then, we need to get specific. Emotions exist on a spectrum, and narrowing them down helps us understand them better.

Next, ask yourself: Why do I feel this way? Is this emotion rooted in the past or the present? Choose your response in a way that validates your feelings, knowing that, in this moment, you are safe and have the power to choose what’s best for you.

As trauma survivors, we may be triggered by certain events. It’s important to recognize that being triggered is a signal—an indication that something remains unhealed and that we are holding onto a past fear. Reclaiming control starts with awareness: I am safe now. I do not need to let this event affect me the way it once did.

Actionable Steps

• Learn breathwork practices to return to the present moment and remain in control, allowing yourself to make the best decision for you.

• Incorporate movement practices such as shaking or yoga to help release tension stored in your body.

• Find what works for you.

Here’s to reclaiming your power and creating a life you love.

Until next week,

Debbra Blosnich.